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Babies are soft, cuddly, cute, gurgly and just outright wonderful. We were all a baby once in our lives and we tend to love babies because they remind of us what we were and that time in our lives that we will never go back to. The question I ponder at the moment, if we all entered this world as a baby, with a mother and a father (you must have had both to be conceived even if you were not raised with both), we all grew up into adults (those of us still in this world), then why is it we feel we are so very different from one another? We were all cute, cuddly, soft, gurgly and just plain adorable at some point in our lives. Why can we not remember such a time now? Instead, we use babies to remind us of such treasures, wonders and pleasures of life when we all have these things deep inside of us throughout our entire lives. Many people have babies because they have the internal instinct to raise a family. That is a hormonal instinct that most species hold onto in some form or another. Humans also love babies for spiritual, loving reasons as well as a rememberence of who and what we were once. Babies are special, that is a given. Yet, we are all very special. The children that you see down the street to the desk clerk at a nearby store. We were all babies and thus we should remember that just because we are not small, so fragile etc does not mean that we are no longer special, wanted, fragile etc. Our bodies and minds may have grown, but our needs and wants are still very similar to a babies. The Needs Each Have:
An infant, child and adult each have the needs mentioned above among many more needs. Each share a commonality of these needs, just in different perspectives. Let's take a quick look at how each require these needs to gain a better understanding of how an adult and a baby are one and the same "inside." An Infant: An infant must know that it is loved and cared for in order to feel good mentally and emotionally. If it is neglected or only given the basics of food, water and sleep, then it will cry more and more feeling the lack of that motherly and fatherly love it so needs to begin it's young life. A baby enters this world full of wonder, wanting to grow, understand and be loved. It needs good health in order to do all of these things. It depends on some else to give it that health. It also depends on an adult to also help it grow mentally and emotionally by way of learning toys, noise makers to help develop sound and language skills etc. The babies needs are nearly 100% dependent upon an adult to provide the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. A baby also knows inside what is good for it, for the most part and will let the mother/father know if it does not like something. A baby is smart. The infant will cry when it is hungry, needs changing or desires attention. It will smile when it is happy and feeling wanted and loved. It will make sour faces when it is not happy with something or does not feel well. The mother/father uses all of the babies signals, movements, sounds etc to help understand their precious gift and how to give their new child the very best they can. A Child A child has the same needs as a baby, nutrition, love, to understand and be understood etc. The main difference between a child and an infant is that the child is a little more independent of these needs being given to the child. Love, hugs, understanding, communication, nurturing and such are still very much alive and needed to be received by the mother/father and siblings. However, a child will begin to explore his/her surroundings, want to read, play, be with other children his/her age to help discover comonalities amongst peers to help him/her understand his/herself more. A child is smart. A child will tell the parent when something hurts, is too hot, does not feel good etc. A child will also tell a parent if he/she is happy through laughter, smiling, hugs and even giving the parent gifts made from the heart (cards, knick nacks the child may have made). A child still needs all of the things a baby needs, but a child will begin to explore, develop etc a bit more on his/her own and is not solely dependent upon the mother/father as the baby is. Adult An adult also needs nurturing, nutrition, to be loved, wanted, to explore, grow etc. We never stop growing or learning and understanding who we are. We still long to be hugged, accepted, to enjoy life, to be cuddled etc. An adult is only different from a baby and child in the "level" of the needs. An adult can go out and "seek" love from a boyfriend/husband or friend. An adult can choose to explore the world or stay right at home, whereas an infant must choose to accept what the mother/father provides to it for exploration and a child can only explore it's immediate surroundings. We may feel that babies and children are very much different from adults, but they are us and we are them. We are physically bigger, mentally more mature (most of us), emotionally more stable in understanding life, who we are etc (again, most of us). Infants and children are still exploring these many wonders from a more "beginning" level and need adults to help guide them and show them the positive outlook on things. An adult is an infant and a child all at the same time. We will never outgrow our infancy or our childhood. We will merely add to it by growing into adults and learning as we go through life. When someone tells you that you need to grow up it is usually because you are either:
If you are not conforming to someone's expectations then perhaps you were shown at a much younger age to follow your own desires and heart. Or, perhaps you went through a great deal of abuse of some sort and you have placed "walls" in your own mind that you are not about to fall for any form of structure, etc. If you do not support yourself financially, do not hold a job or spend your money on things you desire rather than pay the bills you currently have, then perhaps you had lacked the nurturing, exploring and understanding as a child. A parent must show a child how to be responsible from a very young age, how to manage funds, take care of toys, etc. An allowance is a wonderful way to do this. However, instead of giving a child an outright allowance, as they grow older, have them do chores to earn that allowance and make certain more difficult chores worth more money. This teaches responsibility, some nurturing, exploration, and the child who they are and how to provide for themselves in the future. 
Remember the basic needs that everyone needs starting from infancy and do not be afraid to "feel" them inside yourself. You deserve them just as anyone else in the world does. The circle of life is very important because it begins with the spirit. You are a spiritual being first and foremost, whether you are with one religion or another. You still have energy within you that allows your body life and that energy comes from your own spirit. Once your spirit enters this world you become an infant, a human being. Your spirit gives that infant life just as your mother/father gave you it life. You grow, learn, explore, experience, love etc throughout your infancy. As you grow to be a child you change some, mature some more, grow even more mentally, emotionally and physically as well as spiritually. You learn some things and experience many things. You take what you know and apply it. You understand love and nurturing a bit more as well. Once you become an adult all of the experiences from infancy through childhood remain with you, for they are you. You cannot deny them, hide them or pretend negative and positive experiences never happened. They made you who you are today with your help. If you were raped, beaten etc as a child you could either become a rapist and a beater or you could learn from it and help protect others from it. You can either allow negative and positive experiences in your childhood to help you to become a more loving human being as an adult or one that is like a hermit, aggressive and what not. You always have the choice for the mind you hold within you is far more powerful than any memory or experience. As you grow older you begin to age more and before you know it, life in this world is about over for you. All of what you learned and experienced will be carried with you in your spirit form to that light, life etc that you believe in. We have discussed a great deal of how children and adults are deeply connected to babies. Now, let's discuss how we can help a baby have the most wonderful experiences it can during it's early months/years. There are many things a doctor will tell you is best for your baby, however, bottom line is that no one baby is the same and the needs are not all the same. The very basic needs are the same: food, shelter, love etc. However, how you provide those needs and to what extent etc are not the same. A doctor may tell you that your baby should have formula for the first 6-9 months of it's life. That is not true for every baby and some doctors realize this. If your infant cries, throws up the formula or just refuses it entirely, you will have to consider the following:
What can you do if your infant refuses the formula, can't handle it of might be allergic to it? First and foremost, you are the parents. You make the decisions based upon all of the knowledge you gather from your doctor and other resources. No one can tell you exactly what to do for your child. As parents, this is also a learning and growing experience for you as much as it is for the child. You must learn about your infant, understand it and know what works for your child. If the formula just is not working even as early as one month old, then it is time to try something else. The following are some options that have worked for other parents and of which are the ONLY things that would work for me as I was allergic to formula AND baby food alike:
Many infants end up growing so quickly that they desire, crave and need nutrition more than just formula. If your infant refuses formula or if you are giving the baby formula and the child still cries out of frustration and possible hunger, perhaps it is time to move on to the next step? For infants that are allergic to baby food there are always some alternatives. The next step would normally be baby food and a doctor may tell the parent not to give such to an infant until around a year or so of age due to digestion concerns. Again, that is all up to the infant and parents. Some infants grow and develop quicker than others and need that nutrition earlier. Other infants may still need some form of formula. The parent must decide what is best for their infant and refrain from any attitude that "I am going to breast feed my child till they are one year old because that is what I believe." It matters some what you believe, yes. However, your infant doesn't care much about what you believe right now. It cares more about love, attention, proper nutrition etc. If you insist upon breast feeding for a year or giving formula for a year and your child cries a lot out of frustration and hunger then would you be doing the right and best thing for your child? Many infants begin eating baby food around 2 months of age. I began my meals at 3 weeks old because I could not handle any formula or even the bottled baby food jars you purcahse in a store. All babies are different. You must conform, adapt etc to your own. The best way is always the natural way. As your parents were growing up, their parents and even your great great grand parents there were no baby jar foods etc that are so common now. There were only small amounts of processed foods and the parents of an infant had to give that child nutrition in other means. These are some of the "secrets" that I was raised upon and others as well:
Feeding an infant is not hard but it does take a great deal of effort in understanding what the infant really needs. You can gain advice from sources everywhere. Bottom line.......only you really know your baby. Your baby trusts you to give it what it needs. If it is ready for real food, then give it just that. Remember what your grandparents used to eat when they were babies. The items I mentioned above where not only given to me when I was 3 weeks old but also given to my grandparents and people I know's grandparents etc. It all depends upon the child and the parent. What to do in the following situations for your baby:
Having a baby is a truly wonderful gift that many men and women are granted. However, many tend to be neglected out of spite or accident. Some parents feel they know what is best for their child and end up neglecting the communication and understanding the actual needs of the child. Listen to the infant. He/she will let you know what it needs. Remember that you are an infant still in some ways. That circle of life makes us all infants, children and adults in some manner or another. Do not forger how you felt as a child. Use your knowledge and such to help give to your own infant and child what he/she needs. Keep that imagination. As we grow older it is pretty much a "norm" within society that adults must act "mature" at all times and if you show an active imagination or such you tend to be ridiculed. Forget society. Your child matters more. What you do with your child now will grow with him/her later. If you play with your child and let him/her explore different things in life then you will be opening their minds to the many different possibilities. Does a boy need to wear blue or play with trucks only? Does a girl need to wear pink and always have a doll around? Not always. It depends upon the child. If the parent only provides a doll to the girl then that is all she will know, and the goes if the parent only provides a truck for a boy child. Let the child decide who they are and you be their guardian. Give the child options and let them choose. You may find that a child has both male and female ideals. You may just discover that we all have both male and female ideals, we only portray one or the other most of the time because that is what society wants us to do. If a child is male and enjoys music, good. If a child is female and likes soccer, good. Let the child grow, discover and learn. Be there to hug, guide etc. On one more final note: being a parent is very difficult in today's society. The child protection service is very quick to take children from homes, accuse parents of neglect and abuse. Society is ready to dictate how things should be done, taught etc. It is not easy to even discipline a child. Many out there believe in the "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child," theory. Some believe in moderate discipline and making certain the discipline actually "fits" the wrong doing. To all parents: Good luck and follow your heart. Do not let anyone at all dictate how you should raise your child. Just know that how you raise your child will affect the child in the future. So if you desire the child to be loving, respectful etc, then you must set a positive example and be loving and respectful yourself so that the child can "see" and "feel" how it is done. Remember, moderation. There is no reason to do things in extremes. Moderation does wonders. |